A tale for the times
Once upon a time in a land far, far away, a girl lived with her mother, father and brother. She spent her days playing with race cars and building huge mansions with blocks. But what she loved the most was to listen to stories read by her parents before going to bed. She heard of stories that took place in the years before she was born- of a woman who studied to become a brilliant mathematician and wrote the first computer program in history, of a woman cyclist who beat all odds to compete in a “man’s sport” and set a 26-year old record for cycling, of a plant-loving girl who was elected President of Mauritius, of the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic and of so many more women who achieved incredible feats. She went to sleep dreaming of all of them- she dreamt of flying across the ocean with these women who told her of their struggles and battles and how they walked a path filled with taunts only to emerge victorious.
On waking up, she saw her father cook her breakfast and her mother go off to work. She spent the afternoons watching her father clean around the house and wash the dishes. In the evening, she spent time with her brother who loved to play dress-up with her. They played and laughed until their stomachs hurt and their mother came home from work. At dinner, they heard the stories their mother told them of her day at work- the deals she made and the people she met. Her father would excitedly ask questions and her brother would speak of his day at school learning new dance routines and cheering on his friends who won the inter-school girls football match and the hour they spent at the table sharing their lives was one she cherished the most.
Many years passed and she was now graduating from college. She decided to take her passion for building huge mansions forward and studied to become an engineer. She graduated with 60 other women who wanted to build tall buildings for other women, like her mother, who would sign important deals and meet important people. She had her fair share of heartbreak through her years- partners who expected her to cook for them, clean after them and put their ambitions before hers. But every time something like this happened, she remembered the relationship between her parents, free from the expectations and duties they had to follow simply because of their gender. She remembered her brother who was always taught to cook for himself and clean up after himself and not expect someone else to do the work for him. She remembered the women from the stories who had to fight against similarly entitled men to pursue their dreams and she knew, in her heart, that these were not the people she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
Years passed and she became one of the most renowned engineers of her time. She travelled the world over oceans she remembered from stories, met people from different countries, rode a cycle across the grasslands of Europe and when she came home to her double bedroom apartment in the city, she would watch the latest car races on her computer. She was always grateful for her parents and brother who supported her in her dreams and cheered her on. And she in turn made sure she never missed a single dance recital that her brother performed on stage. And every night when she went to bed, she was grateful for the support from the women before her and from the stories, who fought for the dreams of every woman who came after them. She knew better than to believe in magical pumpkins and knights in shining armour. That was not the kind of magic she needed or wished for. She had all the magic and armour she needed in herself and in the company of men and women like her brother, father and mother.
Children do not need superhero role models or fairy princesses as an aspiration. Conventional fairy tales that are read out to young children shape their worldview and the stereotypes they see around them reinforce the idea of gender roles. The additional polarisation of what children can play with owing to their sex severely limits the extent of their natural tendency to explore. The commonly accepted practice that girls play with dolls and boys play with cars or that blue is for boys and pink is for girls is an outdated notion that needs to change. Our children need to see role models in their environment that give them hope and show them that they can have the audacity to dream and then work to achieve those very dreams.
“Children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate” — Anonymous
